On planting a tree.
When planting a tree it is important that a large amount research is undertaken. Apart from the plant itself you will require a shovel, a spade, a rake and the optional services of a hoe. You will also need a comfortable chair (reclining is best) a packet of snacks and a nice bottle of your favourite wine.
Start by positioning the tree, shovel, spade, rake and optional hoe in the garden close to the planting site. This will give a clear indication to all interested parties that you intend to plant something soon. Very soon. Next you should consider the location and installation of your chair. The chair should be in a spot which affords a good view of the planting site. This spot could be indoors or out. During inclement or cool weather a comfortable chair, set up inside the glasshouse or the patio door, can provide a panoramic view of the garden. In dry or pleasant weather a chair on the lawn or decking is a most pleasant place from which to conduct research.
Only when you have opened the wine and the snacks should you install your self in your chair. Thus seated it is time to begin your research proper. Start by tasting the snacks. They should be fresh and of consistent quality. As every good researcher knows testing snacks sometimes means consuming the entire product and often more than one packet.
Testing the quality of the wine is a slow and deliberate matter. The wine you pick to test is entirely up to you. Start this process by pouring a liberal amount of wine into an appropriate glass. Then hold the glass of wine up to the light. This will confirm your choice. If you have picked red then the liquid in the glass will shine with a red glow. As you would expect if you select a white it will not. As every good researcher knows testing wine sometimes means consuming the entire product and often more than one bottle. Alternating wine and snacks can provide sustenance for long research projects.
The holding up of the glass is very important and should be repeated periodically. This exorcise will do two things. First it will confirm that the red wine is still red and the white is not. Secondly by raising your arm in this way it indicates your fitness to continue the research. It may also provide you with a good idea from which direction the sun shines. As the sun has a tendency to shift its position in the sky it is important that you observe this. Observation is the basis of all good research. Over time you will see the effect the sunlight has on the planting site. As the sun and wine goes down it will be revelled to you how shaded or sunny the planting site is. You then can decide if the site is good for your plant. A plant which you will plant soon. Very soon.
There is always a danger that during your research project a well intending spouse or friend will appear. Not being aware of your research they will insist on digging a hole and planting the plant on your behalf. Let them. Why not! Just remind them to return the shovel, spade and rake to the shed. Oh and don’t forget the optional hoe.
Author: Declan Nutley
